Should I cancel the New Yorker?

But Not for the reasons you think.

This Month Has Been A Year

In honor of the holiday, I want to give you all a present. But before that, I want to thank you for my present, which has been your attention to what goes on in this space. As I’ve embarked on this ride, doling out writing every Friday, we are nearing the end of the first year. I’m happy to have followed through on my commitment to publish every Friday. I think this sort of thing - trying new stuff, committing to it, and doing it with intention - can give you great gifts. But it only works if someone is listening and that’s you.

And here’s the link to 20 percent off of a paid subscription. It’s something Substack is doing, and if you want to become a paid subscriber this is a great way to do it for only four bucks and eighty cents a month, instead of six.

Because I’m writing here, I have been looking at the world around me during the week and keeping an eye on it and myself, rather than hurrying through it on the way to the next pitch or the next meeting or next day’s scriptwriting. That doesn’t mean I’ve not been busy doing various other jobs and on various other writing projects. Which means I don’t always get to read the magazines and books that pile up in my office right when I get them. Like this issue of New Yorker from November 8. November 8 feels like it was a year ago at this point, doesn’t it? There’s an article about a new Civil War being imminent. It talks about the number of people selling guns and doomsday prep being surprised that, “Democrats and liberals are buying guns and supplies,” but also these same people confident that, “In a new Civil War, the liberals are going to lose because they don’t know how to survive without their lattes.” Sounds like you all are working off the cliches of who people think the ‘other’ people are. I like me some nuance in my life. I like the man in this article whose wife says he makes the world’s best espresso and how he’s got 75 pounds of coffee beans in his space he bought for 40K on this ranch where people rich enough to buy a doomsday space for 40K, but not quite rich enough to build their own island fortress in Hawaii like Mark Zuckerberg, go to wait it out. You know, when the time comes. Also much talk of ‘bug out bags’ and ‘go kits.’

So many people are very sure it’s going to happen. And they speak with authority about it, telling us, “I work for a three letter govt. org. but I’d rather not say which one.” being tossed around. I know they want me to think CIA, FBI, NIS, or DOD. I like to imagine me listening and nodding, “I get it. FCC or FDA?” I bet I wouldn’t be popular there by saying dumb things like that. Dumb as I am, I do know that if a civil war is going to happen, it’s going to need some pretty dedicated people on each side. Dedicated beyond, “I can’t talk to you at dinner because you voted for so and so.” That’s not gonna cut it. It will have to be, “I think you’re evil and if you continue you will destroy everything I believe in, so I will put on this uniform and go with these other people to hunt you down.” That’s a ton of work. I’m not sure enough people have it in them to commit to that. Not here anyway. We live where everyone can talk a good game about how no one likes living in a surveillance state where the government is up in all our business. “In fact, if you want to talk about it with me and a bunch of other folks who don’t believe in the government police state, join our Facebook group.” You know, Facebook, where we give all our info to Zuckerberg so he can sell it to buy his private island for the upcoming Civil War. See? We’re not the best at being consistent. And I’m as guilty as anyone. I’ve downloaded my Facebook info and hovered over the delete account button, but then decided I might want to see more ads for the cool Batman Christmas ornament from Hallmark where he and Robin slide down the poles into the cave. IT LIGHTS UP AND HAS MUSIC IN IT, TOO!

And then, after that article, a review of a ballet I’m not going to see, and a short story I will not read. I’ve been subscribing to the New Yorker since I lived there in 2004 for a year. When all the little listings in the front of it for theaters and restaurants and things to do were things I could roll out of my bed and go do. There are writers in there I love (Jill Lepore), and writers that are way too smart for me to get. Won’t name them, but I’m told they are humorous and when I read them, they don’t elicit a laugh so much as a, “Oh yeah, I get it.” But every once in a while, just like with Facebook’s Hallmark Batman ornament ad, I consider cancelling the New Yorker until an article like the one about Fortitude Ranch comes along and just really makes my day. The Fortitude Ranch site says they are, “A Private Membership Vacation Country Club And Survival Community.” They talk about the locations being undisclosed, sort of. And when you look online, well they are undisclosed, sort of. Those are some big blue dots.

And of course, entering them into search gives us this awesome picture.

Right there, third on the list of likely searches. Is it a scam? Can you afford in these pre-election and hysterical times this was written in to miss out on the opportunity to survive the civil war? Scam or not? All I know is the guy who makes espresso is cooking a stew and is quoted saying, “If they come, we’ll be ready.” I’m just not exactly sure who is “we” and who is “they.” But because I’m behind in my reading so this is all coming at me post-election, like a Monday Morning quarterback for the Dystopian Rangers, I feel like some of the people at Country Club Fortitude are feeling like the people who bought supplies and generators before 12/31/99, worried about Y2K shutting down the grid on a global scale. I hope those seventy-five pounds of coffee beans can be frozen without losing their “bite.” Or however it is you measure the greatness of espresso beans. This kind of time travel reading also works with newspapers. I know I know, who reads a newspaper anymore. But when I get busy they pile up for a few days so when I get to them, I always read Gustavo’s columnas first. Then I get to feel the mounting tension as race through a few days news in a few hours. I learn what fun the Wicked cast had on set making the movie. What Ms. Grande likes to do on her Funday Sunday in L.A. and just how they pulled off that one special effect. How all the people concerned with making the movie don’t think it’s just a capitalist ploy to break the story into two movies and that there’s really that much story inside the musical. Then it opens. And then everyone was right! Look at all that money they made. Or, in sports, will the battle of Harbaughs when Chargers play the Ravens be problematic for their dad? Or is he just super proud to have both sons at the pinnacle of their profession, coaching in the NFL? Then the game, and everyone was right! They get along and it isn’t a feud, it’s just business! It’s the fast lane of recent history. If I wait long enough, I can watch Wicked I at home and then drive to the theater to catch Wicked II and I won’t feel as cheated by the capitalist maneuver at all! Just wait it out, like my stew loving espresso making doomsday prepper friend is somewhere in the northwest part of Nevada.

Great. Get to my present, Peter. And is it a membership in Fortitude, you might be saying. No. Your present is that, starting in January, I’m going to be publishing more. We’ll still be doing our Friday thing. But I will be adding in one more thing every month. Sometimes it will be a podcast with guests. Sometimes it will be a piece of fiction writing I’m working on. A writer I’ve mentored talking about what they are working on. I’ll post a scene I’ve been writing and work through what challenges it presented me and show how I approached it. That extra stuff will be for paid subscribers only, so if you are already one, great. If you aren’t, and like reading me, but can’t stand the thought of hearing my voice, you won’t be forced to. Maybe that’s the real present. I’d love to have you tell people about this. If you do, we’ll keep growing this community that I have come to really enjoy. Happy Thanksgiving!